This past week has run us through the ringer. We went to a memorial service for my mother-in-law on the day of her 58th wedding anniversary. Then my oldest kid turned 18. Holy crap.

So first, the memorial...or more what losing someone close a second time feels like.

When I lost my Dad a little over 5 years ago, my views on religion, the afterlife and why we feel the need to believe in something changed radically. I had always thought I would know when someone I cared about died. Like a ripple in the Force I suppose. I talked to him on the phone the night before the final surgury (heart issues). Then, 18 hours later my brother called from 2200 miles away telling me he was gone. Never felt a thing. One day I was talking to him, next day he was gone.....just gone. No more conversations about my kids, the goats, the Spurs, the Navy...nothing. All the history was gone. And I didn't even feel him leave. 5 years later and there's still nothing. I gew up believing in spirits and souls and such, but now that I've experienced that kind of loss, it's just different.